The Partial Truth

Every day as you sift through the headlines, you expect to get a quick glimpse of the general political, social and economic state of affairs in the country. But the most common headlines you end up seeing these days are reports of incidents that tell stories of horrendous rape cases & sexual assaults on women taking place all over the country. Even foreign tourists who have always been eager to visit our country and learn more about its culture and heritage are literally discouraged by the news reports on Indian rapes. But even then, do the real stories really come to light? Is there more to these stories that we never find out about?

16^th December Rape case: A shame for the entire nation!

The incidence of rapes in India showed a marked rise since the inhuman 16^th December (2012) Rape Case. It was an inhuman gang rape & murder of a Paramedical student aged just 23 yrs in Delhi, who was gang-raped in a bus when she was on her way back to home after watching a movie with a friend. When the four gang-rapists approached to harass her and begun their lewd behaviour, her friend who worked in a private firm protested and was thrashed badly with iron rod. After the girl was raped, her vaginal passage torn off with the iron rod and her intestines spilling out, she along with her friend were stripped and flung out of the bus to bleed on the streets. This horrific incident of the December 16^th Delhi Gang rape shook the entire nation and received a lot of media hype.

The naked truth revealed:

Not only this one incident, but numerous such brutal incidents that followed in a train after the Delhi rape case reflects one naked truth but a very significant one; i.e. the highest number of rapes in India occur in the Metro cities. The main reason for this is the huge influx of small town population especially women from small towns moving to the big cities to make more money and ending up in a horrible, poverty-stricken life. 

Has anyone ever wondered what the male psychographic behind these rapes is? Psychographic outlines of the men who assault the women in the metros reveal that they are seething with aggression and are often slaves to some kind of addiction, most commonly alcohol or narcotics. However, sometimes this aggression comes from the general attitude of Indian men to dominate females. When these small town girls come to the metro cities and start earning, some are successful – they work long hours and rise on the ladder of success; something most men cannot tolerate or accept. On the other hand, some aren’t so successful and work extra hard to prove themselves, often outshining their male counterparts, which again is unacceptable to a chauvinistic man.  

They feel these girls are intruders in their city, are posing threat to their manhood. They want to teach them a lesson; something that comes from the very core of their conservative nature that tells them a woman can never be better than a man, and they must show a woman that her true place is always beneath a man. Sadly, this aggressive attitude is heightened much when these men are under the effect of some addictive.

Lines blurred between what’s criminal & what’s not:

Recently the four men who raped the Delhi girl have been given a death sentence, though from some sections of the country debate is being raised on the punishment’s quantum as there are some who favour life imprisonment for the convicts. Actually, the horrendous manner in which this poor girl was raped & murdered makes one think that any punishment would fall less for the convicts. 

Today the line between what is ‘criminal’ and what is not has become blurred. Laws in India have a number of loopholes and due to legal deficiencies, non-criminals receive criminal punishments and the real ones are dealt with leniently. Also another way of putting this issue is that today it’s really unpredictable to read a man’s mind. Men with no prior criminal or sexual assault records are often the ones responsible for brutal sexual assault crimes. And as per law, a first time offender is usually given more leeway. 

Significant confessions made by the north Indian perverts: Look into the statistics

After the Delhi Gang rape incident, statistics were collected to see how much this evil of rape has ruined our country. It’s shocking that one out of every four men in Northern India confessed of committing or wanting to commit acts of sexual violence sometime or the other. According to 2011 Rape Statistics, out of 24206 cases of rapes that took place in the country, the maximum cases occurred in Northern India; i.e. about 6227 cases. In rural India too rapes occur, but the only difference is that the cases do not get such great media exposure as in the metros. The victims there are forced to marry their assailants to hush up the matter. In many cases, the illiterate rural women do not even realize that they are being raped!

It can be said that while media is trying its best to bring all rape and sexual assault cases to light so that justice can be served, in all earnestness we still only get a partial picture of the reality. We need to spend less time talking about it, and more time trying to find out WHY rape is becoming so common in India, so that we can find a real solution to the problem. 

Minor Marriages

Every day as you sift through the headlines, you expect to get a quick glimpse of the general political, social and economic state of affairs in the country. But the most common headlines you end up seeing these days are reports of incidents that tell stories of horrendous rape cases & sexual assaults on women taking place all over the country. Even foreign tourists who have always been eager to visit our country and learn more about its culture and heritage are literally discouraged by the news reports on Indian rapes. But even then, do the real stories really come to light? Is there more to these stories that we never find out about?

16^th December Rape case: A shame for the entire nation!

The incidence of rapes in India showed a marked rise since the inhuman 16^th December (2012) Rape Case. It was an inhuman gang rape & murder of a Paramedical student aged just 23 yrs in Delhi, who was gang-raped in a bus when she was on her way back to home after watching a movie with a friend. When the four gang-rapists approached to harass her and begun their lewd behaviour, her friend who worked in a private firm protested and was thrashed badly with iron rod. After the girl was raped, her vaginal passage torn off with the iron rod and her intestines spilling out, she along with her friend were stripped and flung out of the bus to bleed on the streets. This horrific incident of the December 16^th Delhi Gang rape shook the entire nation and received a lot of media hype.

The naked truth revealed:

Not only this one incident, but numerous such brutal incidents that followed in a train after the Delhi rape case reflects one naked truth but a very significant one; i.e. the highest number of rapes in India occur in the Metro cities. The main reason for this is the huge influx of small town population especially women from small towns moving to the big cities to make more money and ending up in a horrible, poverty-stricken life. 

Has anyone ever wondered what the male psychographic behind these rapes is? Psychographic outlines of the men who assault the women in the metros reveal that they are seething with aggression and are often slaves to some kind of addiction, most commonly alcohol or narcotics. However, sometimes this aggression comes from the general attitude of Indian men to dominate females. When these small town girls come to the metro cities and start earning, some are successful – they work long hours and rise on the ladder of success; something most men cannot tolerate or accept. On the other hand, some aren’t so successful and work extra hard to prove themselves, often outshining their male counterparts, which again is unacceptable to a chauvinistic man.  

They feel these girls are intruders in their city, are posing threat to their manhood. They want to teach them a lesson; something that comes from the very core of their conservative nature that tells them a woman can never be better than a man, and they must show a woman that her true place is always beneath a man. Sadly, this aggressive attitude is heightened much when these men are under the effect of some addictive.

Lines blurred between what’s criminal & what’s not:

Recently the four men who raped the Delhi girl have been given a death sentence, though from some sections of the country debate is being raised on the punishment’s quantum as there are some who favour life imprisonment for the convicts. Actually, the horrendous manner in which this poor girl was raped & murdered makes one think that any punishment would fall less for the convicts. 

Today the line between what is ‘criminal’ and what is not has become blurred. Laws in India have a number of loopholes and due to legal deficiencies, non-criminals receive criminal punishments and the real ones are dealt with leniently. Also another way of putting this issue is that today it’s really unpredictable to read a man’s mind. Men with no prior criminal or sexual assault records are often the ones responsible for brutal sexual assault crimes. And as per law, a first time offender is usually given more leeway. 

Significant confessions made by the north Indian perverts: Look into the statistics

After the Delhi Gang rape incident, statistics were collected to see how much this evil of rape has ruined our country. It’s shocking that one out of every four men in Northern India confessed of committing or wanting to commit acts of sexual violence sometime or the other. According to 2011 Rape Statistics, out of 24206 cases of rapes that took place in the country, the maximum cases occurred in Northern India; i.e. about 6227 cases. In rural India too rapes occur, but the only difference is that the cases do not get such great media exposure as in the metros. The victims there are forced to marry their assailants to hush up the matter. In many cases, the illiterate rural women do not even realize that they are being raped!

It can be said that while media is trying its best to bring all rape and sexual assault cases to light so that justice can be served, in all earnestness we still only get a partial picture of the reality. We need to spend less time talking about it, and more time trying to find out WHY rape is becoming so common in India, so that we can find a real solution to the problem. 

The Wait

                                                                                    

 The Wait

Rape culture in India is thriving with each passing day and the rate of sexual violence on women has acquired the alarming scale of an epidemic where rapes, juvenile, gang-rapes and other types have become the news on front page in every newspaper. Not only news stories, but also the elaborate media coverage of these rapes occurring in the country telecasted on TV gives is enough to jolt us with a shock of terror every single time.  We shudder at the pain and ordeal of the poor woman who had gone through it; we are so very overwhelmed by their emotions which consist in sympathy for the rape victim and outrage & abhorrence for the perpetrator are out on the streets. And how do we show this reaction? Some will vent their grief and protest by lighting candles, holding March and doing their bit. But what follows next????

Yes, before the country can recuperate from the trauma of one ghastly rape, another takes place.

One Rape occurs & then India waits for yet another

Rape has become a ceaseless and everyday occurrence in India. After a rape case has been reported and received much media attention, the public frenzy that breaks out on it. But what when that is done with?  The country has no option but to resign and wait till the next rape happens. 

The lawmaking bodies of our country carry out a very dated and sluggish trial procedure for the accused and in most of the cases, it takes a lot of time for the final verdict to be announced. Heightened emotions of the people of our country however, have very recently galvanized the lawmakers into making some amendments in the anti-rape legislations. But there too countless loopholes have been found.

Rape in India is a vicious cycle

Once a rape occurs, you as a good citizen are shocked. Then you express your outrage, and then you protest by holding rallies, marches and so on. Next what happens is ‘Waiting’; you wait for some months to swish by and then another rape happens and the cycle goes on again  - you are shocked, express outrage, protest on streets. Where is the solution?

 In the midst of this hullabaloo on rapes in India, we often forget to take a deep introspective look at the Indian society as a whole. The root of all these gruesome horrific acts of violence against women lies in our society itself which is essentially a patriarchal society. So no matter how stingingly a critic writes a critique of this national crisis of rape, rapes in India will continue to occur until and unless the patriarchal domination of males of society on women is not controlled at the root level itself.

Want to change the society? Begin with your own homes

Can we change this?  Can this ‘Wait’ be over by starting the process of changing our mindset as a society, so that the Rape Culture of India is thwarted? Yes we can. What we need to change is our outlook and that can begin right from the familial setup itself.

1.  We have to teach our sons and daughters to think differently; i.e. right from their childhood we should inculcate in them a spirit of gender equality. Discriminating between sons and daughters and giving sons more importance than daughters should be shunned and they should be encouraged to think that they are equal in all respects.
2.  Even the young generation should raise their voice against the patriarchal thoughts of elders like the one in which many elders often assert that the bride of the house or ‘bahu’ has to keep the pallu drawn over her head always and never show her face to any other men other than her husband or she is always duty-bound to serve her in-laws no matter how tired she is after all the household chores etc
3.  In many Indian homes still today countless male-dominated practices are followed. We need to discourage those. Some examples of such practices are: women of the house cannot eat prior to the male members, the women need to handle all household chores and duties alone even if they have a job, the women have to get up early in the morning before their husbands do and cook food for their husbands and children timely without a single helping hand etc, women are duty bound to serve their husbands in any way without ever being asked for their opinion or wish on the matter etc.

Only if we make these small changes on the home front, can we can surely expect some big positive change in the society in the near future.

Men Against Rape

                                                                               

Men Against Rape

Almost each new day, you see headlines in newspapers dominated by rape and gang rape stories, which only raise questions about women’s safety in India. The different types of brutal cases of rape taking place all across the country aptly portrays the perils and anguishes of women at the hands of the male predators who get an uncanny pleasure in ravishing a woman’s body, our country’s widespread rape culture. 

But when we talk of the Men of our society, is it really fair to generalise them? Indian society in fact has undergone many changes under the impact of women empowerment movements, modernization, westernization, mass literacy and so on. Today the gender gap has reduced a lot and many men in our country think quite progressively, respect women and their individuality, and are eager to fight shoulder to shoulder with women against the rapes taking place in the country. 

The voice of our politicians/actors against rape

Many male celebrities and eminent people like actors and politicians have set an example for commoners to follow by raising their voice against the social malice of rape and supporting women in this battle. Let’s see what some of them have to say:

Abu Asim Azmi, who is the state president of the Maharashtra Samajwadi Party remarks,“I support death penalty for the Delhi rapists but there should also be a law that women should not wear less clothes and roam around with boys who are not their relatives. What is the need for roaming at night with men who are not relatives? This should be stopped.”

Actor Kushaal Punjabi after the very recent Mumbai gang rape incident remarked,” This time, if we don’t act, it’s over. We will be sealing the fate for all our girl children. It isn’t about Mumbai or Delhi. It’s about India” 

The MARD Movement:

By getting the cooperation and support from some of the forward thinking men of our society, this widespread epidemic of violence against women may hopefully be controlled in near future. Of late, many celebrities like Farhan Akthar, Yuvraj, Dravid, Sachin Tendulkar have stood up for the MARD movement which is the abbreviated form of ‘Men against Rape and Discrimination’. 

They have been campaigning and conveying the social message of gender equality through the recitation of ‘Mard’ which is a poem composed by Mahesh Babu. The poem has been translated into various languages and recited by male celebrities in the hope of bringing about a positive social change, and for the women of India to feel assured that not all men are alike….some are actually fighting tooth and nail to ensure that justice is served.

While today these modern men are trying to bring about a change in the society, a man standing up to protect the rights of women is not something new to our country.  Some other similar movements were undertaken in the past by men to foster gender equality and fight violence against women in society. Raja Ram Mohan Roy’s campaigning to condemn the inhuman social evil of Sati or the Kranti Sena Movement started by our famous freedom fighter Bhagat Singh are only but a few such examples.

 MARD is a contemporary movement, while the other two examples are forever written in the pages of Indian history and date far back, telling us of honourable men who attempted to reform society even back then by ending gender inequality and inhuman practices on women.

Can one man make a difference?

A few good men can change the world, but even one man who makes an attempt to thwart this rape-culture our country is harbouring will make a genuine difference. Here are a few things you can do:

• Take a stand if you see a woman being harassed. While it isn’t heroic to take on a gang alone, calling your nearest police station ASAP is.
• Be a part of any local movement that requires you to pledge support in order to make India safer for women. Be it about giving lectures in slums, schools, colleges or low income colonies, any message you can deliver on gender equality will make a difference.
• If you find a woman walking down the road on her way back from work alone after sunset through dangerous localities, genuinely offer to escort her to the nearest bus stand or metro station. Similarly, if you see a woman travelling alone through public mode of transports at night and you notice a rowdy group of men come aboard, take the seat next to her so that they don’t think she is alone.
• Find ways to increase public awareness on the matter. Start a blog that tells others what men can do to stand against rape, or be brave to bring up this conversation in front of those in the society who are biased about gender roles and are still struggling to break free from it.

The Rape Law

                                                                                

 The Rape Law

The ceaseless and recurrent incidents of rape in India have battered the country’s image terribly in the International arena; the various news reports published on Indian rape cases has not only horrified the country but the world at large. The Brutal gang rape of Nirvaya, the paramedical student in Delhi, in wake of year 2012 generated shock waves across India and even managed to stir up a huge international uproar. But nothing much changed after that. Rather incidents of rapes and sexual assaults on women have increased all the more after Nirvaya’s case, and today India is looked upon as World’s Rape Capital. 

The rape culture in India has thrived because the anti-rape laws of the country are slack & outmoded. A lot of time is wasted in prosecuting the charges against the accused or the suspects to reach a final verdict. Is it time India revised and updated its anti-rape laws? 

India’s Current Rape Law:

Rape is a criminal offence in India. Section 375 of the Indian Penal Code defines it as an act of sexual intercourse in which a man forcibly penetrates without the woman’s consent. However, this crime can be committed in several ways and that means it’s high time that the anti-rape laws that were framed in the 1860s are amended to increase their scope and give better justice to the victim and better protection to women. 

In response to public protests soon after the Delhi Gang rape cas, the parliament of India made a remarkable attempt to safeguard the helpless women against horrendous sexual violence by passing a sweeping brand new anti-rape legislation. After Nirvaya’s case that gave the country the rude jolt it needed, some revisions in the laws have been made.

These new anti-rape law makes voyeurism, stalking and sexual harassment a criminal offence as well. If the rape victim dies due to the attack or if the rapist is a repeat offender, the new gives the perpetrator death penalty. If police officers refuse to file complaints from rape victims for the open cases of sexual assaults, they too can be taken to court and punished under law according to this new anti-rape legislation. 

The new status of the current revised law against rape in India does look more pro-active, but does it help much in reality?

The Loopholes in the Law:

Though initially this new law seemed like a huge milestone for enforcing women’s rights quite fabulously in the country, gradually many loopholes came afloat that became a subject of debate. 

For instance it omitted crucial issues like marital rape. Also certain inclusions in the new law make the process more problematic. For example, raising the minimum age limit of consent, clauses where it’s mentioned that the rape victim will be interrogated for first –round information collection only by a police officer who is female are some major inclusions that ultimately stood out as the major loopholes in the current anti-rape law.

Here is a look at these Loopholes in details:

• Firstly marital rape is a very crucial issue which should not have been omitted. Often husbands bash up their wives, torture them and force them into sexual intercourse against their will. This sort of behaviour is actually ingrained in the male-dominated society of India. Lawmakers really need to deal with it with a stern hand because marital rape shatters the dreams of a married woman and degrades her soul.
• By raising the consent age, scope for teen rape and juvenile rape cases in the country have been created and so this loophole too needs to be plugged through appropriate revisions.
• Clauses which say that only a female officer can interrogate a rape victim really make no sense because in our country only 6.5% of the police force comprises of female officers while the rest are all males. Instead there should have been a provision in the new law which clarified that the kind of language and demeanour the officers, whether male or female, use or take up while interrogating the traumatized rape survivors should be kind, unbiased and non-judgemental.

While the new Rape laws in India do have the potential to thwart the rate of rapes reported every day, the loopholes that have ignited debate among the countless social activists, feminists and reformers need to be dealt with once and for all to see any REAL changes. 

Raped Again

                                                                                   

Raped Again

If the recent gang rape in Mumbai, a young girl of 22 years old left you reeling with shock, you are not alone. Raped again – the story of the women of India and the atrocities that they go through at the hands of perverted men is nothing new. And while media tries hard to expose each and every case in order to bring justice to the victims, has anything really changed?

Women have for ever been an object of man’s desire, and if she resists, they would even go to length of violating all laws and ‘having her’ forcibly. In a male-dominated society like that of India, men care a fig when it comes to showing off their male prowess; a fact that is very much evident by the alarming rise in the number of rape cases in our country and the failure of the laws & Crime Control Departments to curb such brutal violence against our women. 

Country shocked by yet another brutal rape incident

Very recently the country was shocked yet again by the brutal gang rape of a 22 year old young photojournalist in Mumbai who was raped in the deserted compound of Shakti Mill when she went there along with her male colleague to take pictures related to her assignment for a National Magazine. She was doing her internship with the company and was involved in her genre of work for the last 3 and a half months. 

When they reached the mill compound around 6pm in the evening, two of the rapists accosted them and three more joined in and tied up her male colleague using their belts. Then all five of them gruesomely raped the girl about 15 ft from the spot where her colleague was captivated. Next they walked the rape victim and the boy to the Mahalaxmi Station, the nearest station to that area and before going into the station they clicked the rape victim’s photo on their cell, threatening to make it public if she took action against them. 

Is this what we have come to as a society? Are we going to stand idly by when crime against women has reached such heights that rapists think that clicking compromising photos of the victim to shame them further is all that is needed to seal their mouth forever?

 This Mumbai rape incident obviously compels many to think that it’s not the rape victim who should feel ashamed, but it’s our country itself which is shamed once again by such a horrendous incident. 

What politicians, actors, actresses have to say on this?

Several politicians, actors and actresses have given vent to their anger and disgust on this issue of Mumbai gang rape. For instance the Communications & IT Minister Kapil Sabil remarked, “It will be dealt in the most severe manner. Our Country cannot have our women and children insecure in the 

hands of the attackers”. 

The famous Actor Amitabh Bachchan added by remarking, "It is a shameful act. It is a matter of shame and insult to the city of Mumbai for such a disgraceful thing (gang rape) that has happened here. A photo journalist, who was deputed for her work, became a victim. It makes us saddened" 

Reputed Actress Juhi Chawla was equally shocked by the incident and stated, “This news comes as a shocker. I hope the victim will be healed and fine. I felt worse for the fact that she is a photographer, so she may be connected to our film industry. I can't imagine how painful and traumatic this must be for her and her family. Very tragic”

The Mumbai Gang: Triggering public & youth outrage all across India

This gang rape has created tremendous ripples of uproar among the youths and masses, not only in Mumbai, but in the entire country at large. In different regions of the country the angry outrageous mob took to streets in the form of rallies and showed off their agitation and protest against the rapists who devastated the life of a young woman. 

The mob also protested against the inactive law that is ultimately doing nothing to check this growing crime against Indian Women. They, to show off their wrath, did things like burning effigies, carrying festoons and placards with derogatory remarks against the rapists, parading in different kinds of outfits bearing social messages for women’s safety and so on. All agreed on one point and that is: ‘Perpetrators should be punished most harshly!’

But does that really ever happen? Is this yet another case of a life destroyed where the perpetrators will not be answerable for their actions?

Can we really bring about a change?

To check these recurrent incidents of rapes and gang rapes in our country what is needed is REAL ACTION. Mere agitation and words can’t suffice the purpose. We have to revise our Anti-rape legislations and do away with the loopholes to begin with, but also we also need to keep in mind that laws alone can’t check the alarming situation that has been created for women today. 

What we need is to bring a huge social reformation.  It’s high time that the men of our society should stop thinking of our women as mere sexual objects! Only then can we expect the women of India to feel safe when they are out doing nothing but their jobs.

The 'Rape Capital' dissected

It is not an unheard fact that the National Capital of India also stands ashamedly as the Rape Capital.

The factors leading to a rape are not restricted to a particular rationality. What is common is the vicious and horrible mentality that exists in men everywhere; be it Delhi, Punjab, Rajasthan, or even in countries abroad. But recent examples have brought much notoriety to the capital city and exposed that Delhi today is definitely the most unsafe city for women in India.

Out of all the crimes in the city, rapes account for a shocking 15%!
393 rape cases in the first three months of the year, 2013- Shocking news!

This averages out to be over 4 rape cases a day in the city.

Rapes have no parallel to other crimes. It shatters a girl mentally, emotionally and physically. Condescending attitude from the society and physical wounds apart, the ugly impact that a rape victim’s mind suffers from being beyond the description of words.

                          The question that arises is, out of all places- Why Delhi?

                          Why is the nation’s capital the center of a crime like rape?

Considering the government pays more attention to the capital city, what could be the factors possibly that make Delhi the Rape capital.

The most undeniable and obvious factor responsible for a rape is the thinking and mentality of the rapist. Why then, an educated city like Delhi stands at the stage of crime that arises from such a lowly mentality?

Delhi is a city of different cultures. People from all over India, belonging to different strata reside here. The very rich, the very poor, people from different religions, difficult familial and educational backgrounds, all kinds exist in the capital. This vast disparity leads to the ultra-‘modern’ facing the conventional.

 The convention, in this case is conventional enough to clothe a woman they feel is indecently dressed but not to shun thoughts like possessing her sexually by force.

Other factors that make Delhi the rape capital include the way the city has been designed. Delhi is so designed that certain large areas are not directly connected to public transport and one often has to walk distances after and before taking public transport.

There are areas poorly connected and there are others that are much more secluded. 

Also, the policing and law enforcement in Delhi needs to get stricter!

Needless to say, there’s an urgent and dire need for Delhi’s status to change from the ‘Rape Capital’. To bring about such a change, law and order needs to be ensured. A change in mentality is a primary solution; but a slow one. If the rod works quicker, then the Police and Law need to resort to it to create a threat full image of punishment to rapists. Public transport especially for women needs to reach out to deeper areas. There should be check posts established in secluded areas so the police always keep a watch, closely.

Over and above all of these, the very basic factor that requires a change is the mindset!

One may try to keep the environment safe and one that prevents rapes, but the ugly root set in the mind of the rapist needs to be pulled off and strangled to death. The education of this type begins at home. Respect for women makes deep impressions on a child’s mind and such values are imbibed right from the start.

For those already under the clutches of the mentality of a rapist, rehabilitation centers, meditation can try to do the needful.

Slut Walk Revisited

“We are tired of being oppressed by slut-shaming; of being judged by our sexuality and feeling unsafe as a result. Being in charge of our sexual lives should not mean that we are opening ourselves to an expectation of violence, regardless if we participate in sex for pleasure or work. No one should equate enjoying sex with attracting sexual assault.”

If you have been as involved or as in clue with what the women in India have been up to this past six months or more, this statement would have made its way to you much before than now. Inspired by the parent concept which originated early July in Canada, at the end of July 2011 women in Delhi organized the infamous Slut Walk  to protest against the daily violence, especially the ones of a sexual nature, against women in India. 

2011. Not 2012 when the case of Damini shocked the entire nation into first silence then aggressive action. Not 2013 when the embers of similar rape cases flamed the fires of a discontented female section of one of the largest populations. As early as 2011. Women have been vicimtized for eons and women have been trying to get your attention to make a point time and again. Sit up and take notice.

Why are women sluts?
As bold and shocking as this might sound, there are multiple reasons why women are branded as ‘sluts’:

-    She does not fear talking to men. She does not mind having an occasional male friend over. She openly confesses her need to be admired and appreciated.
-    She loves her body and she loves to pamper it. She dresses in clothes which make her look good. She is a slut because she according to the general male population is dressing to catch attention. She wants to be laid. Why should a woman dress up otherwise?
-    She enjoys having sex as her male counterpart. Why is it so criminal for a woman to enjoy having sex? Why is sex supposed to be pleasurable only for the Indian Male? Why is sex restricted only as a means to an heir for the woman?

What was the Slut Walk all about?
In all honesty it was about eve-teasing. It was about taking sexual harassment against women seriously – by the Government and by the rest of the people in this country.

It was about letting the Nation know that rape is not the only form of sexual harassment. Rape is sexual harassment at one extreme. Casually passing lewd remarks about a girl’s body, even for fun, is sexual harassment. Women and their bodies are not tools of entertainment for the males. You want a good laugh? Take a good look into the mirror. You will find enough to crack up about.

Sexual harassment is wreaking havoc with the woman’s mind. It is more about the psychological damage it causes as opposed to the physical wounds we see as proof.  Slut Walk was about people standing up against sexual harassment.

What didn’t happen then
Though there were more than 5000 registrations on the FB Page less than 50 people showed up. They were scared of being associated with something as controversial as a Slut Walk.  If I walk down with the parade of the Slut Walk am I branding myself a slut? What will people think of me? What impact will it have on my immediate family? These were a few basic questions running through every woman’s mind. Spouses were not supportive, families even lesser.

“I hope to God I am wrong, but I have visions of men taking photographs of these girls, ogling them, trying to touch them — and not getting the point at all. To be blunt, I don’t think Delhi is ready for this kind of in-your-face protest. Sad, but true,” remarked Christine Pemberton, a 70s feminist living in New Delhi.

Delhi could not understand the irony of using a controversial theme like Slut in a protest.

Times Change
Or so they say. Have we matured in these past years? Have real cases being reported almost every day help us come out of our cocoons? Do we want to stand up and once again try to get people more aware about making space for women?

A part of me believes we have. A part of me wants to believe it so desperately. It would mean that the world is changing. It would mean there is hope.

Should Self Defense classes be mandatory for all girls?

The horrific rape case of Nirbhaya, in Delhi shook up the entire nation. It brought startling questions to every mind.

“Am I safe and do I feel protected, are there anyone who really stands up when I step out on the streets in India and face any dreadful situations?”

“Can I be a victim of a life shattering crime like rape, ever in my life?”

“Should I let my daughter or sister to go and work in the crime capital now or in the future, Delhi?”

“Is any city safe at all? Does any city exist in real with zero crime record. Are all men of similar mentality?!”

Crime against women has reached an all-time high! Nirbhaya’s heart wrenching case reduced many a heart to pieces. It seems alarming that any human being is capable of performing the horrendous act Nirbhaya’s rapists did.

Naturally, we start thinking on the lines of how safe we are.

Rapists and eve teasers know no geographical bounds. India may have emerged as the rape country of the world. But the evil mentality of a rapist isn’t specific to any region or religion. Rapes and eve teasing happen in the safest of places. Neither are these crimes limited to dark evenings. Daylight rapes and murders of ladies have made news in the past too. Babies, toddlers, teenagers, ladies and elderly women- they spare no one!

In such a situation, NO WOMAN, IN NO COUNTRY, AT NO TIME is safe.

Living in constant fear is not a solution. Being prepared for the crime IS!

The fairer sex is a favorite target because the gender biased creation has made women physically weaker. And the weak, is a favorite victim of the cowardly.

In the viewpoint of the recent crime against the women’s case, few points evolve:

•    Women should carry pepper sprays in their handbags at all times.
•    Sharp tools like nail cutter/pocket knives may prove to be useful too, if the exact technique to attack is known.
•    Few important phone numbers should always be saved on speed dial.
•    Women need to be alert of their surroundings and the people around them always.

But in the rawest of situations, when you’re facing your attacker, your phone and handbag thrown aside already, what comes to your aid is MIGHT.

• The knowledge of what kind of a blow at which body part of the attacker will give him a hard time, giving you a chance to escape or further attack him, comes into the picture.
• The experience of focusing all of your energy into that one blow is another requirement.
• And finally, some quick thinking does too.

This is what Self Defense Classes are primarily about!

“Self-defense, though violent in nature, is not a crime in itself. It is protection of self or a fight against crime. Self-defense classes train women so that they can protect their honor and fight against anyone who tries to harm them (or even someone else), in the time of need. In an age wherein women- because of their physical weaknesses, are the easiest targets for all kinds of crime, the need for Self Defense classes as a compulsion is much!”

Robbery, murder, rape, kidnapping, eve teasing. There must come to an end to it all.

And when women will be able to defend themselves, such crimes will diminish on their own.

However, “Self Defense classes should not be a compulsion.”

This argument raises the point that rather than protection from the crime, it is important to eradicate the crime from the root!

It is the very thinking in the minds of criminals that make women unsafe. A mentality that treats women as objects need to be attacked.

Proper education and upbringing in a decent environment can ensure this. Many criminals come from broken homes. To nip it in the bud, is the solution and criminal tendencies should be tended to in the very beginning.

Media doesn’t fail to bring to view the kind of graph ‘crime against women’ is tracing against time. With the public made aware, it is in our hands to decide what the right choice is for us.
Either way, Stay alert, be strong and stay safe!

Are Indian Men More Attracted To And By The Concept Of Sex Than In The West?

Incidences of violence and sexual assault against women in India have been on the rise lately. Pinning down the cause for these and thwarting such incidents in the future is very important. 

Recently, the gang rape of a 23 year old psychotherapy student left the nation in shock and now the rape of a minor, who is just 5 years old, has appalled the country. One statistic has even pointed out that a female gets raped every 22 minutes in India. Then, eve teasing, acid attacks, dowry deaths and marriages of minors are also common in the country. Actually, the Asian Center for Human Rights has stated that the number of child rape cases have increased by more than three times between 2001 to 2011.

After recording women’s views, it was found that 95% of the women from New Delhi stated that they did not feel safe in public places. Also, about 75% of the men agreed with this statement made by majority of the female population in New Delhi. Moreover, the trend of selective sex abortion in the country indicates that women are in danger even before they are born. Then, the practice of paying dowry for a girl’s marriage, although made illegal, is still being carried on. Other social prejudices against women are not educating them and favoring male siblings over the girl child.  

The authorities have tried to change things by passing laws that appear to be more stringent but will this be able to alter anything is the question everyone should probe into. Men in India have deep rooted notions, beliefs and conceptions about women and sex. Getting to the majority of the population, a huge chunk of which is illiterate and bordering on the poverty line, is also a huge challenge. Not only is there a need to increase awareness about women’s issues but men also need to be sensitized on the subject. Some experts have even stated that things like female infanticide and marriage of underage girls suggests that a girl’s life isn’t valued in the country.

To change stereotypes about sex and attitude of men towards women, campaigns need to be executed at a grass-root level. Conventional and long established perceptions towards women have to change. For example, men shouldn’t judge a woman’s life choices or pass an opinion on any of their decisions such as the clothes they choose to wear. Women should also be encouraged to speak out in cases involving domestic violence and molestation.

The conservative mindset in India is very strong. So, it becomes difficult to even make people understand about women’s rights and the prejudices against them in the country. Most people just take such bigotry and bias for granted and consider it to be a norm. Many activists have also said that the falling number of women as compared to the number of men is the root cause of the issue. The number of men who are unable to find a suitable bride in the country is quite substantial.  So, educating and sensitizing the male population in India is a pressing need.

Stalking - the mental form of rape

“But I didn’t touch her, so how is that rape?” “I was simply following her around for fun, I never laid a finger on her” … The people uttering such asinine sentences are the ones who are blissfully ignorant of the fact that there are things far worse than physical rape that they can do by ‘simply following her around.’ The mental form of rape, or stalking a woman, can have serious consequences on her psyche. The harm is not simply physical but psychological in this case, wherein the effects of the trauma of being stalked may manifest themselves at any point in life.

Stalking is a form of harassment where the victim, usually a female, is subjected to unwanted contact from her stalker in ways like following her, driving past her, leaving her threatening messages, repeated phone calls etc. What is surprising is that a majority of victims know their stalkers. In most cases, the stalkers are ex-boyfriends or men that the victim rejected- a fact that ruins their notion of ‘manliness’, which they then try to assert through tactics of domination. 

The psychological effects of being stalked can be alarming. The fact that stalkers often resort to violent behavior and threatening approaches can wreak havoc with a woman’s peace of mind. Victims of stalking are often victims of depression, nightmares, self-harm and suicide attempts as well. What makes it worse for the victim is the administration and even family members who often dismiss cases of stalking as ‘just boys having some fun’, following, of course, the logic of ‘no rape so no problem.’  A certain police officer even told a victim to go home and be ‘flattered’ with the attention she is receiving. What these people very conveniently forget to take into account is the mental well being of the girl in question.

Take, for example, the case of the thirteen year old girl Shabnoor in UP who committed suicide after she could no longer bear repeated stalking and sexual harassment by her neighbor. Or that of Ashely McCann in USA who talks about the fear and illness she experienced while being stalked by her ex-boyfriend for over one month. Or of the twenty one year old man in Britain who stalked a minor for five months before being arrested finally. Or the seventeen year old South Delhi girl who lapsed into depression after being stalked for over four months by a stranger. Stalking of women happens all over the world, irrespective of their religion, caste, creed or social status.

The need of the hour is to raise awareness about the fact that rape is more than just a physical crime. The mental rape of a woman by stalking her, passing lewd comments, mentally undressing her with your eyes or trying to make unwanted contact is no less reprehensible and disgusting. While some stalkers go unpunished by pleading mental illness and psychological disorders, many others roam scot-free because the laws on stalking are not strong enough. Remember, just because there is sexual intercourse being forced doesn’t mean that mental rape is not happening continuously.