The Wait

                                                                                    

 The Wait

Rape culture in India is thriving with each passing day and the rate of sexual violence on women has acquired the alarming scale of an epidemic where rapes, juvenile, gang-rapes and other types have become the news on front page in every newspaper. Not only news stories, but also the elaborate media coverage of these rapes occurring in the country telecasted on TV gives is enough to jolt us with a shock of terror every single time.  We shudder at the pain and ordeal of the poor woman who had gone through it; we are so very overwhelmed by their emotions which consist in sympathy for the rape victim and outrage & abhorrence for the perpetrator are out on the streets. And how do we show this reaction? Some will vent their grief and protest by lighting candles, holding March and doing their bit. But what follows next????

Yes, before the country can recuperate from the trauma of one ghastly rape, another takes place.

One Rape occurs & then India waits for yet another

Rape has become a ceaseless and everyday occurrence in India. After a rape case has been reported and received much media attention, the public frenzy that breaks out on it. But what when that is done with?  The country has no option but to resign and wait till the next rape happens. 

The lawmaking bodies of our country carry out a very dated and sluggish trial procedure for the accused and in most of the cases, it takes a lot of time for the final verdict to be announced. Heightened emotions of the people of our country however, have very recently galvanized the lawmakers into making some amendments in the anti-rape legislations. But there too countless loopholes have been found.

Rape in India is a vicious cycle

Once a rape occurs, you as a good citizen are shocked. Then you express your outrage, and then you protest by holding rallies, marches and so on. Next what happens is ‘Waiting’; you wait for some months to swish by and then another rape happens and the cycle goes on again  - you are shocked, express outrage, protest on streets. Where is the solution?

 In the midst of this hullabaloo on rapes in India, we often forget to take a deep introspective look at the Indian society as a whole. The root of all these gruesome horrific acts of violence against women lies in our society itself which is essentially a patriarchal society. So no matter how stingingly a critic writes a critique of this national crisis of rape, rapes in India will continue to occur until and unless the patriarchal domination of males of society on women is not controlled at the root level itself.

Want to change the society? Begin with your own homes

Can we change this?  Can this ‘Wait’ be over by starting the process of changing our mindset as a society, so that the Rape Culture of India is thwarted? Yes we can. What we need to change is our outlook and that can begin right from the familial setup itself.

1.  We have to teach our sons and daughters to think differently; i.e. right from their childhood we should inculcate in them a spirit of gender equality. Discriminating between sons and daughters and giving sons more importance than daughters should be shunned and they should be encouraged to think that they are equal in all respects.
2.  Even the young generation should raise their voice against the patriarchal thoughts of elders like the one in which many elders often assert that the bride of the house or ‘bahu’ has to keep the pallu drawn over her head always and never show her face to any other men other than her husband or she is always duty-bound to serve her in-laws no matter how tired she is after all the household chores etc
3.  In many Indian homes still today countless male-dominated practices are followed. We need to discourage those. Some examples of such practices are: women of the house cannot eat prior to the male members, the women need to handle all household chores and duties alone even if they have a job, the women have to get up early in the morning before their husbands do and cook food for their husbands and children timely without a single helping hand etc, women are duty bound to serve their husbands in any way without ever being asked for their opinion or wish on the matter etc.

Only if we make these small changes on the home front, can we can surely expect some big positive change in the society in the near future.

A Sexually Abused Society

                                                                     

A Sexually Abused Society

No matter how hard the society of India tries to sweep the serious issue of sexual violence on women under the carpet, the alarming rate of increase of such cases is indicative of the fact that something is seriously amiss here. We are typically a male-dominated society, and it isn’t uncommon for stories of gruesome violence against women loom large in media almost every day. The angry outrageous mobs hold rallies, try campaigning, and even engage in shrill slogan hurling, but the very next day another woman is sexually abused. 

So has anybody ever wondered what’s actually wrong with our society?  Why are the men so hell-bent on exploiting women sexually?  

‘Sex’ clad in enigma

The roots of this problem lie in the way Indian society treats the question or subject-matter of sex. Our society has created a far reaching mantle of enigma around sex and it is often considered a ‘hush-hush’ affair. The society puts a restriction on discussing sex in public; till date sex education has not found a place into the school syllabus in the remote parts of India. 

The question here is that when ‘Sex’ is the biological need of every man and woman, just like any other biological needs like hunger, thirst, respiration etc, why should there be so much enigma surrounding the subject-matter that makes people so inquisitive about trying to find out more? 

Until and unless this enigma is brushed aside, sexual crimes won’t reduce because males psychologically would want to explore the enigma by ravishing the woman’s body; with or without her consent. And it’s really strange why India keeps the subject of sex clad in enigmas, because if you take a look at the erotic sculptures in temples like Khajuraho or Konark or read Vatsyayana’s Kamasutra, you would think that this country should have had a much progressive and open outlook towards ‘Sex’.

Indian Society empowers men with the decision-making power in sexual intercourse

Our society with its patriarchal setup always keeps the man on the top, while woman is expected to show complete obeisance to the man. In the familial setup too, the wife has to suffer the same tyranny of patriarchy where she has to silently serve the husband. Sexual intercourse, which should have been a matter of mutual love-filled intimate session between a husband and wife, is not always so between most Indian couples. There too the man has all the power to take the decision regarding the intercourse and his wife has no option but to go along or else their marital life may be at stake. What empowers the man is none other than his upbringing in this patriarchal society. 

A look at some statistical figures

Roughly 60% of women in the urban region indulge in sex just to finish it off, or simply because their husbands want it. However, in rural India, this percentage may go up to 70%-80%. 

This statistics is alarming because it shows how the women of our country are losing interest in ‘sex’. 

Probably most never had any interest in sex at all, because for them it never was something from which they could derive pleasure, but yet another way to serve their husbands. 

As for as the urban women are concerned, the reason for this decline in female libido of the married women is probably the way husbands continue to trample their individuality day after day and asserting their own supremacy over them, whether in the sexual life or even beyond it.

Is our society sexually abused?

It wouldn’t be wrong to say that the Indian society is a sexually abused one - perverted males feel they can rape women on streets and husbands feel comfortable raping their wives within the four walls of a bedroom. 

The only difference here is that you can expect the media to hype cases where the rapist was accused, for the helpless wife merely wreathes in pain and sobs silently, but cannot share her misery with anyone because that’ll bring disgrace to her own family, her own husband. 

Is it time our society changed its outlook towards SEX and accepts it for what it really should be – an act of pleasure where both individuals engaged are equal participants in mind, body and soul?