Widowhood in India is a life of heartbreaking plight for a woman, or so it was a few years ago, though some things have changed for the better, thanks to the efforts put in by social activists and NGOs coming forward to fight for their cause. But even today, the age-old stigma associated with widowhood cannot be wiped away. Why is that? Why should a woman suffer further at the hands of the society, when she is already struggling with the shock of having lost her husband?
Widows: Outcast in ancient India
The plight of an Indian widow can well be understood if we go back in time and take a look at the grim picture of widowhood back then. Our society looked upon widows as ominous and unlucky. They were kept out of all social festivities and celebrations and made to live the life of an outcast in a dingy den. The moment a man passed away, a life of ongoing tragedies began in the life of the ‘Indian widow’.
Widows received various forms of maltreatment. The life of the young widows became highly unsecured because there was no end to lechers even during that time. With the death of their husbands, the Indian widows in fact were given a life which was no better than ‘death’ itself. At the root of all the tortures - mental & physical, lay a good number of superstitions surrounding a widow and plaguing her life.
It was believed that as the husband has passed away, so had all colours from her life. Widows were restricted from wearing colourful saris or any other garb. They were forced to smash her bangles, remove their mangalsutra and wipe their sindoor or any other thing that would denote her marital status. Also widows were considered a ‘de-sexed’ race. So it was believed they had no need to look attractive. They were restricted from wearing jewellery, made to shave their head completely, wear plain white sari, forbidden from eating anything flavourful such as garlic, onions and non-vegetarian food items like eggs, fish and meat. They were made to hold fasts many times in the course of a month and eat only fruits at the day’s end. If a widow ever looked up at any man, it was considered sin on her part and society punished her for that.
The inhuman practice of widows being burnt alive on the husband’s funeral pyre or the practice of Sati is not unknown to anyone of us. Yes, it was rampant in our country before Raja Ram Mohan Roy raised his voice against it. This custom took birth from the superstition that since the woman was her husband’s partner when he was living, she should also accompany him to the other world.
Also often young widows were held responsible for their husband’s death. They were snubbed as an ‘ill omen’ for the family by the in-laws; a ‘witch’ who had devoured their fond son. And then the in-laws started all types of inhuman tortures on her. This was again a very common superstition that plagued widows of the earlier times.
Picture Today: Changes with time
Today many things have changed for the better. The garb & dietary restrictions for widows have vitiated and it’s a matter of a widow’s personal discretion. Today widows don’t wear absolutely plain white sarees and neither do they don’t hold fasts so frequently. Also widows shaving their head and customs of Sati have become totally obsolete in our country. Today widows can live a normal life, wear what they want and eat what they please, so one can say their living conditions have improved remarkably as compared to things a few decades back.
However, in spite of the changes that have occurred for the best, many things are yet to change. A widow seen talking freely with any other man is criticized; questions are raised about her character. Even today, widows do not participate in some holy rituals where married women celebrate, becoming mute nothing more than mere onlookers.
In other words the society’s outlook towards widowhood is yet to change a lot.
Widow Remarriages: A path to a bright future for Indian widows
However, one big stride towards the bright future of widows had been ‘widow remarriages’-a concept put forth by Ishwar Chandra Vidyasagar. Today we have many widow remarriage portals on the internet. This is one way of relieving the Indian widows from the curse of widowhood and making them realize that they still have a ‘life’; that their life doesn’t have to come to an end only because their husband passed away.
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