Empowerment v/s Individualism

                                                              

Empowerment v/s Individualism

As our country claims of social reforms and an overall renaissance, it has definitely made significant attempts to project a favourable picture of the Indian woman before the world at large; and the tool it has used for it is the different strategies for women empowerment. Our society has always been a patriarchal society where women have suffered oppression, repression and torture at the hands of men. Even if few social reformers and feminist organizations are fighting hard for women’s causes expecting a new dawn for the women of India, ‘Women Empowerment’ in the true sense of the term cannot be achieved overnight. This is because it is must be always borne in mind that India still retains its patriarchal social setup.

But is our concept of Women Empowerment flawed in the first place? Do most of us even understand what it takes to empower our women is more than just the right to education, vote, inherit parental property and choose a career? Aren’t those are birth right, anyways? 

Women Empowerment: The right to be regarded as individuals first

When people talk about women empowerment, they probably talk about three major kinds of empowerment; i.e. political, economic and social. 

•  Political empowerment could be giving women the suffrage right, reservation of special seats in parliament for women candidates so that they can have a dominant voice in the policy-making of the government etc. 
•  Economic empowerment implies that the woman would have the power to use her resources and earnings in whatever way she likes. 
•  Social empowerment gives women the power to choose her own career, job, educate herself, to the extent that she can reach her full potential and protest against male oppression, mistreatment and exploitation. 

But the well-intentioned and well positioned people of our society who are trying to bestow power upon women often forget these powers were actually their birth rights to begin with; the rights that were snatched away from them by the Chauvinist males in order to corner them in society and deter their progress. 

What is very cleverly given the name of Woman Empowerment today is basically returning to women their basic rights. Rather, what is required here is respecting a woman’s individuality which most Indian men often don’t do. In India, patriarchy and domination runs in the blood of the males and no matter how educated they are they, cannot rise over their typical male egos and consider women as an individual worthy of respect, and not someone who should submit to their authority and obey their orders while catering to their whims and fancies.

Women empowerment: Aren’t we asking the men to give us the power?

When there’s so much clamour on women empowerment and so many campaigns are held in its favour, we often forget that we are actually asking men by default to empower us. As mentioned earlier, our society is predominantly a male-dominated society. Our law-making bodies, our governmental sectors too are dominated by males who have a major say in the decision of women empowerment. So it’s 

really a sort of disgrace for women that they are begging for their rights from the males!

Despite Gender disparity, Men & Women as human beings are same

Despite all gender wars or all campaigns for establishing gender equality, we need to agree on one point; i.e. as human beings men and women are equal and so it’s very unjust to discriminate between the genders. In doing so, one’s own identity as a human being will become questionable and even dishonoured.

If we truly want to EMPOWER the women of India, we have to first give them the chance to assert their individuality, so that they are confident enough to empower themselves and achieve the goals they set for themselves. It’s not about giving them the right to vote, reserve seats for them or allow them to choose a career; rather, it is about empowering them to be whoever and whatever they want to be.

The FREE Woman

The FREE Woman

We all hear tales that make it evident that women in India have been subjugated and subverted for years, their status always secondary when compared to males. In her growing years, a woman is required to sacrifice her dreams and aspirations for her brothers, post-marriage all her moves were controlled and dictated by her husband, and when she turned old she had to follow the commands of her sons. 

For years, a woman’s life was seriously caged by the wills of the males within her close circuit or in the society at large. They expected total submission and obedience from her or else she was considered ‘unwomanly’ or obstinate. But the question today is – has the story really changed all that much? Even as we move towards modernization 67 years post independence, are the women of our society really FREE even now?

Myth of a free woman in India

 As the waves of the Feminist movement started to take surge worldwide, India too came under its sweep. Some positive impact indeed took place in the fields of women liberation and progress. But after seeing the present rate of violence on women, the question still remains that in this 21^st century after all the efforts made to impart the women of India freedom which is their birthright, are they really free? 

Our country is one of the world’s largest democracies, celebrating its Independence Day on August 15^th each year and claims to consider its women citizens no less than men. Today’s modern women like to think they are free - they are  educated and think they have the right to go wherever they want, wear whatever clothes they want, practice whatever profession they desire, follow whatever manner of conduct or behaviour they want. But is that really true? As a modern woman, aren’t you coerced to still move cities when you husband gets a new job, go against your heart to enter an arranged marriage because that’s what your family believes is right for you, have to dress up a certain way in front of people because it’s your family image at stake?

In reality, the concept of the ‘free woman’ in India is still a myth because society puts uncountable restrictions on our choices and snatches from us our birth right; i.e. ‘freedom’. 

Being ‘free’ is more of a mental state than a physical one

Being FREE is not a physical state; you don’t have to exert your physical freedom in order to feel liberated and confident of the woman you are. Freedom is a state of mind; it is a mental state that sets us apart from others. It is all about freedom of thought, of emotion, of convictions that really makes a difference. And while in India we women might not be free to behave the way we want and act like the way we want, most of us are not even free to have our own ideas, our own ideologies and our own opinion.

A woman, in order to free herself, first needs to free her mind. Women first need to de-captivate their mind of all fears, feelings of remorse, poor confidence and so on. Freedom is actually about thoughts, emotions and convictions and it indeed can make a large difference. If your mind is free, you can get the courage to assert your individuality. 

So first, you need to hold up the mirror to your own selves and discover the ‘I’. Unless you do that how will you establish your presence in this man’s world? If your mind remains captivated, you will fail to see the positivity around you and these male chauvinists will continue to negate your presence and make you dance to their tune. 

Why do women in India feel ‘caged’ even after 67 years of Independence?

The progress of the women of our country is deterred seriously by series of mental and social confines that put them into tight fetters. The mental confines could be feelings of fear, low confidence, self-pity, lack of will power, emotional blackmailing, paranoia and countless other psychological issues that may develop due to ceaseless torture hurled on her from the male world. 

The social confines that restrict her progress could be illiteracy, low income or poor economic status, dress code restrictions in some parts of the country, discrimination regarding employment, laws against women violence but with many loopholes and so on. These mental and social confines limit the progress of women in our country and often her journey becomes an episode of unvoiced plight. 

Thus, even after so many years of Independence our women are not very free; in fact ironically enough they still feel quite caged in ‘independent’ India. We claim of overarched idealisms but our women are raped, harassed, murdered in the name of dowry, eve teased, acid attacked each new day. They are unsecured and utterly scared by the hooliganism taking place around them. They aren’t free at all!

So let’s take a vow this Independence Day...and try to give our women the Freedom they deserve, the freedom that is theirs by birth. If we each decide to change our thoughts and actions, to make a difference and to not think ‘What difference can one person alone make?’;  together we can walk towards a brand new India where the women are as free as the men.

Slut Walk Revisited

“We are tired of being oppressed by slut-shaming; of being judged by our sexuality and feeling unsafe as a result. Being in charge of our sexual lives should not mean that we are opening ourselves to an expectation of violence, regardless if we participate in sex for pleasure or work. No one should equate enjoying sex with attracting sexual assault.”

If you have been as involved or as in clue with what the women in India have been up to this past six months or more, this statement would have made its way to you much before than now. Inspired by the parent concept which originated early July in Canada, at the end of July 2011 women in Delhi organized the infamous Slut Walk  to protest against the daily violence, especially the ones of a sexual nature, against women in India. 

2011. Not 2012 when the case of Damini shocked the entire nation into first silence then aggressive action. Not 2013 when the embers of similar rape cases flamed the fires of a discontented female section of one of the largest populations. As early as 2011. Women have been vicimtized for eons and women have been trying to get your attention to make a point time and again. Sit up and take notice.

Why are women sluts?
As bold and shocking as this might sound, there are multiple reasons why women are branded as ‘sluts’:

-    She does not fear talking to men. She does not mind having an occasional male friend over. She openly confesses her need to be admired and appreciated.
-    She loves her body and she loves to pamper it. She dresses in clothes which make her look good. She is a slut because she according to the general male population is dressing to catch attention. She wants to be laid. Why should a woman dress up otherwise?
-    She enjoys having sex as her male counterpart. Why is it so criminal for a woman to enjoy having sex? Why is sex supposed to be pleasurable only for the Indian Male? Why is sex restricted only as a means to an heir for the woman?

What was the Slut Walk all about?
In all honesty it was about eve-teasing. It was about taking sexual harassment against women seriously – by the Government and by the rest of the people in this country.

It was about letting the Nation know that rape is not the only form of sexual harassment. Rape is sexual harassment at one extreme. Casually passing lewd remarks about a girl’s body, even for fun, is sexual harassment. Women and their bodies are not tools of entertainment for the males. You want a good laugh? Take a good look into the mirror. You will find enough to crack up about.

Sexual harassment is wreaking havoc with the woman’s mind. It is more about the psychological damage it causes as opposed to the physical wounds we see as proof.  Slut Walk was about people standing up against sexual harassment.

What didn’t happen then
Though there were more than 5000 registrations on the FB Page less than 50 people showed up. They were scared of being associated with something as controversial as a Slut Walk.  If I walk down with the parade of the Slut Walk am I branding myself a slut? What will people think of me? What impact will it have on my immediate family? These were a few basic questions running through every woman’s mind. Spouses were not supportive, families even lesser.

“I hope to God I am wrong, but I have visions of men taking photographs of these girls, ogling them, trying to touch them — and not getting the point at all. To be blunt, I don’t think Delhi is ready for this kind of in-your-face protest. Sad, but true,” remarked Christine Pemberton, a 70s feminist living in New Delhi.

Delhi could not understand the irony of using a controversial theme like Slut in a protest.

Times Change
Or so they say. Have we matured in these past years? Have real cases being reported almost every day help us come out of our cocoons? Do we want to stand up and once again try to get people more aware about making space for women?

A part of me believes we have. A part of me wants to believe it so desperately. It would mean that the world is changing. It would mean there is hope.

Feminism - Abused and Overrated

The very word ‘Feminism’ at once stirs up an interest in us; it’s been one of the most burning topics for the last two decades. Feminism – it’s a movement that started out as a way to fight for the rights of Indian women, helping them climb up the social ladder so they could enjoy gender equality in social, political, educational, professional and all other important spheres of life. However, today it has become an ambiguous term that seems to have lost its power, acting more as an irritant that has been over-used and abused for way too long.

The society throughout the world has always allowed men to enjoy a stronger position when compared to women, while women were always considered subordinate. The picture was grimmer in India and inhuman rituals and customs like Sati, Child marriage etc were practiced. With an iconic movement like Feminism, revolutionary changes came in to the society and the story of women repression and suppression could be managed to a great extent.

Unfortunately, today feminism is misinterpreted, and the hope & promise that it showed at its dawn appears to dim out. And the people who are responsible for this are undoubtedly the present day feminism activists. Today’s feminism activists lack the earlier spark, dedication & fervor. They are no more than fanatic feminists. Does that mean it’s time to put a stop to feminism?

Rise & Origin of Feminism
The Feminist movement originated in the year 1840 in the West and the sole goal was women liberation by rising over the patriarchy. The movement falls into 3 distinct ‘Waves’. The first wave also called suffragette movement (late 1800s-early 1900s) focused on securing women suffrage, right to property and some other vital Fundamental Rights for Women that would help them to achieve political equality and be at par with the men. The second wave (1960s-1970s) is a crucial landmark in the feminist movement. The entire Feminist Iconography is often believed to rest on the second wave. During this phase issues like rape, sexual harassment, reproductive rights for women were brought to the lime light. The third wave feminism with its top issues like Gender identity, class, race, queerness came up around 1990s.

Whatever gaps in the feminist movement were there were addressed in the third wave and this third wave ultimately broadened into the modern day full spectrum feminist movement that deals with gender intersection, sexuality, class, race etc issues with a more holistic approach.

Society preyed by Feminist Fanatics
In our society there is no end to fanaticism and Feminist fanatics is another addition to the list. They are hysterical man-haters who raise hullabaloo on issues that upset the natural biological, rather God-determined roles, of man and woman and these fanatics today are perfect examples of female hostility towards men. With the huge number of Feminist Fanatics today, it has really become difficult to implement the right Feminist theories or achieve the set goals.

Why is ‘feminism’ becoming more of an irritant?
In many circumstances or for many people ‘feminism’ today has become more of an irritant because the origin of Feminism was to teach a woman to be liberated, to be conscious of her rights and establish it. It taught her that she is equal to her man in all respects with only minor differences of stature and physical strength. However today, Feminists keep insisting that women should raise a hue and cry every time her rights are ignored, or she feels repressed, and often times this exaggerated affair is not really to help the distressed woman but actually to create more publicity and turn more and more women in to active feminists.

Fact is, In India there are many women who love their womanly duties, their family; their house and even within the bounds of a house they can live a liberated life provided they are happy with their husband and their children. They don’t need to be ‘liberated’ only because they don’t want to do the same jobs as the men in their lives. And this is a concept that many feminists do not respect. Additionally, instead of trying to resolve family matters that could be a result of misunderstanding between man and wife, most feminists want to take extreme measures. Rather than trying to restore family balance, they often encourage women to take extreme steps against their husbands and fathers, resulting in severed families and destroyed relationships.

Negative impact of abused feminism on peaceful relationships
Women who are motivated by the Feminist Fanatics of today need to realize that their actions are having adverse impact on peaceful relationships in many ways:

•    Some women start misbehaving and dominating their husbands, encouraged by feminists who misinterpret feminism and their rights, pressurizing their partners to fulfill all their unjust demands. This creates an atmosphere of utter disharmony in the family
•    Some suffer from soaring superiority complex and ego that ultimately gives a death blow to their relationship
•     Some if unhappy with their present partner and looking for an excuse to end the relationship misuse feminism by bringing in fake rape, domestic violence or other assault charges against their present partner. This is nothing but Feminism fraud.

Is it time to draw the line?
Today, modern feminists really need to revise their approach. Feminism is gender warfare for acquiring equal rights for both genders. It does not tell a woman to abhor a man. Feminists really need to draw the line where they start propagating Women’s rights to punish a man for violence etc. This is where the theory tends to be misunderstood or abused by the Feminist Fanatics.

In other words a true feminist is a woman who exercises her rights or uses the theory to the extent she is a humanist; her propagandas and campaigns should never tear happy families apart.