Stalking - the mental form of rape

“But I didn’t touch her, so how is that rape?” “I was simply following her around for fun, I never laid a finger on her” … The people uttering such asinine sentences are the ones who are blissfully ignorant of the fact that there are things far worse than physical rape that they can do by ‘simply following her around.’ The mental form of rape, or stalking a woman, can have serious consequences on her psyche. The harm is not simply physical but psychological in this case, wherein the effects of the trauma of being stalked may manifest themselves at any point in life.

Stalking is a form of harassment where the victim, usually a female, is subjected to unwanted contact from her stalker in ways like following her, driving past her, leaving her threatening messages, repeated phone calls etc. What is surprising is that a majority of victims know their stalkers. In most cases, the stalkers are ex-boyfriends or men that the victim rejected- a fact that ruins their notion of ‘manliness’, which they then try to assert through tactics of domination. 

The psychological effects of being stalked can be alarming. The fact that stalkers often resort to violent behavior and threatening approaches can wreak havoc with a woman’s peace of mind. Victims of stalking are often victims of depression, nightmares, self-harm and suicide attempts as well. What makes it worse for the victim is the administration and even family members who often dismiss cases of stalking as ‘just boys having some fun’, following, of course, the logic of ‘no rape so no problem.’  A certain police officer even told a victim to go home and be ‘flattered’ with the attention she is receiving. What these people very conveniently forget to take into account is the mental well being of the girl in question.

Take, for example, the case of the thirteen year old girl Shabnoor in UP who committed suicide after she could no longer bear repeated stalking and sexual harassment by her neighbor. Or that of Ashely McCann in USA who talks about the fear and illness she experienced while being stalked by her ex-boyfriend for over one month. Or of the twenty one year old man in Britain who stalked a minor for five months before being arrested finally. Or the seventeen year old South Delhi girl who lapsed into depression after being stalked for over four months by a stranger. Stalking of women happens all over the world, irrespective of their religion, caste, creed or social status.

The need of the hour is to raise awareness about the fact that rape is more than just a physical crime. The mental rape of a woman by stalking her, passing lewd comments, mentally undressing her with your eyes or trying to make unwanted contact is no less reprehensible and disgusting. While some stalkers go unpunished by pleading mental illness and psychological disorders, many others roam scot-free because the laws on stalking are not strong enough. Remember, just because there is sexual intercourse being forced doesn’t mean that mental rape is not happening continuously.