Sustaining Stereotypes - Women in the Kitchen

When I was in 9th grade, my Home Science textbook taught me that the dining table should always be set in a way that the woman’s place is nearest to the kitchen so that she can serve with ease. The wife of the host should also always sit down at the table after she has served everyone. At that time, I did not give this small piece of information much thought. Looking back, however, I’m astounded by how our textbooks are teaching us to sustain gender stereotypes.

Cooking is something that has traditionally been associated with the female sex, not just in India but other cultures as well. “A woman’s place is in the kitchen” seems to be the common refrain of patriarchal minds who seem to forget that cooking is not gender-specific but a task essential for the survival of our species. What really amazes me is the fact that women themselves have internalized this notion of being the cooks of the family.

A woman will come back from work, exactly like her husband, and head straight for the kitchen to cook for the both of them. The husband, on the other hand, will head to the bathroom for a luxurious bath, change into comfortable clothes and sit down at the table, expecting to be served a delicious meal, without once lifting a finger to help his wife in the kitchen. Sound familiar? That’s because this is a common scenario in most Indian households where women themselves actually shudder at the thought of letting their husbands do their fair share of the household work. Housework, of course, is traditionally the domain of the women and should remain so. What these women forget is that with the passage of time, traditional gender roles have altered immensely. Women are now going out to work, just like the men in their families, and there is absolutely no reason then that they should be expected to bear the brunt of cooking for the entire family alone. 

I myself have seen my grandmother scolding my mother for letting my father enter the kitchen and make a cup of tea. Absurd, right? What is even more absurd is the fact that there is nothing to suggest that women are naturally better cooks (women are natural caregivers is the argument most often put forward when it comes to taking care of the kids) than men. Look at the number of top chefs in the world. Look at how the majority of these top chefs is composed of males. Why, then, is it assumed that a woman’s place is in the kitchen?

In the movie ‘English Vinglish’, Sridevi makes a brilliant point when she says that when a woman cooks, it is her duty to do so, but when a man cooks, it is considered art. Maybe that is problem here. Maybe it is high time that we rise above the notion of a woman’s duty being the cook of the family and take into account the fact that the woman of today works just like her male counterparts, and therefore deserves help from them not just in the kitchen, but also in other traditionally woman-centric household chores. It is not an outrageous demand by any standards, is it? If a woman can contribute to the family income, there is no reason why her husband cannot contribute to the kitchen duties.