We, the Indian women of today, claim that we have been able to modernize
ourselves and are now no more shackled by our males. But the headlines of the
daily newspapers mirror a different picture altogether. Even today it isn’t uncommon
to see news headlines that somewhere in India, brutal incidents of gang rape,
bride burning, molestation, incest, eve teasing and more are reported. Have we really progressed, or is the reality
that our progress is but a superficial progress trampled by the ego-centric
males who get a devilish pleasure in toying with women?
A feminist critic once remarked, “A thing of beauty is a toy forever”
Thus, in this 21st century it is the responsibility of every mother
to instil in her son certain values that help him understand that women are no
play-things. Only then can the Indian
society be re-constructed afresh in favour of women.
The 5 core values that every parent must teach their son so that he can
grow up to become a good son, a good brother, a good husband and a good father
are:
#1 Respect Women: They are the backbone of the society
Men should be able to respect women. Without this inherent respect for a
woman, men cannot see the finer and deeper attributes in her. A mother is the
first woman a son is acquainted with. Therefore, it’s her job to instil in her
son a deep respect for women and all their virtues, so that he can start to
respect women in general from an early age, rather than see women as inferior
to men. It often happens that a son
psychologically feels that all women are as virtuous as his mother and starts
respecting them, for which of course the mother deserves a big round of
applause. Also, a good mother will be a guide, helping her son understand why
it’s wrong to disrespect women and correct him if he goes wrong.
#2 Women are different from men: And that’s how it should be!
A man should know, agree and happily acknowledge that a woman is his
able counterpart. She has her own feminine freshness and softness, and her own
charms. She may or may not be as ambitious as a man, may love to focus more on
the home-front at times rather than worry about bringing in the mullah, but
that does in no way undermine the importance of her gender role. Some women, by
managing the home front efficiently, can help a man focus on his profession and
career most perfectly. Also with her huge depth of emotions, love and care, her
characteristic feminine sweetness, patience and calmness she can even every
odds of life. Therefore, even if women
are different from men, men must learn to appreciate that difference rather
than try to exploit it, and it’s the duty of every parent to see to it that
their son develops this value.
#3 Women are not objects - sexual or otherwise
This is very crucial issue, especially in a male-dominated society like
India where women are sexually abused almost every day in offices, colleges, on
the streets, BPOs, pubs, cafes and so on. Many men believe that it a projection
of their masculinity to show their prowess on women. In case they can’t win
over a woman the right way and find their egos bruised, they go on to abuse her
sexually for smoothening their ruffled feathers. Every parent should teach their
son that if they want to be called a MAN
in the real sense of the term, he must never treat a woman like an object or
property. She is a human being worthy of respect, and objectifying her is a
disdainful act.
#4 Women can make great friends: Not every woman can be your soul-mate
It is not necessary that every woman a man interacts with or becomes
close to will prove to be an ideal soul mate; some are just great friends. It’s
time to break away from the misconception – Yes, men and women can be friends; they
don’t always have to be ‘something more’. And for this, parents need to instil the same
values in their sons, letting them befriend girls their age and never read too
much in to it. Not every woman can be your girlfriend, but she definitely can
be a worthy friend because she is compassionate, a great listener and more
often than not also a great advisor to a man.
#5 Women have no more restrictions than men
A man often feels that since he is in a patriarchal social setup, he is
entitled to do almost whatever he wants. Similarly, it’s important that a
parent teaches their son that the modern woman too can exercise her own
discretion to abide only by the restrictions she sees fit to follow, and it
isn’t fair to compel her to do otherwise. It’s her call – whether she wants to
drink, party hard, work late or go out with friends after work; it gives no man
any excuse to judge her for her actions, just like a man wouldn’t like a woman
to judge him for his choices in lifestyle. No woman should be expected to live
by restrictions a man wouldn’t, because she is not inferior to him in anyway.
So, if you have a son, make sure that you teach him these 5 core values.
After all, if you want to reform the Indian society to ensure that your
daughters and daughter-in-laws can feel safer, the change has to begin right at
home!
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