Challenges of being a woman in India

                                                         

Women, the seat of creation is but neglected and underrated in a country like India, where the traditional spiritual beliefs hail Mata Shakti who too is emblematic of woman power. You’ll find people lighting uncountable lamps, offering pujas and donations everyday at the temple of the Goddess, but simultaneously inflicting horrendous torture on the women in their own house or in the society at large. Such contradiction or better to say ‘hypocrisy’ exists in our country where women are forever miserable under several spoken or unspoken misogynistic social rules & regulations that have been favouring the men always.

Even today, though India moves towards a brighter tomorrow, being a woman can still be a challenge. And sadly, all the changes you do see are evident only in the metro cities, while it can safely be said that the women of rural India still have a long journey to cover before they can expect a life where they are treated as an equal to men.

Urban Indian women get more opportunities; the rural ones still deprived

After the Indian independence, certain positive changes were seen in the condition of women. The waves of the feminist movement that started in the west revolutionized the entire world and India too came under its impact. With the changing times, westernization & globalization took the modern India into its grasp, but all the influences were limited to the urban India only. Even today when we talk of the modern independent Indian women, we always have the educated urban woman employed in some high profile job in mind. None of us, very honestly, think of the conditions women in the rural or the most remote parts of India live in. Why is it so? 

It’s because at the bottom of our heart we too know that when we talk of gender equality, progress and upliftment in modern India for women, these changes are actually limited to a minority concentration in the urban areas or metro cities; rural India is totally beyond it. Better education facilities, schools, colleges, universities, offices all exist in the towns and not in the villages. So urban women who get a better exposure to these facilities can only get a strong foothold on society through economic independence, while the unfortunate rural women are deprived of all these life-changing factors. 

Rural India sinks into discontent when a girl child is born!

With illiteracy, comes the darkness of ignorance. Even today in many of rural Indian homes, people lament when a girl child is born. Since in villages they don’t get proper exposure to educational facilities, most never being sent to school at all as they are considered a ‘burden’ that must be married off soon, they cannot appreciate the worth of a woman; the hidden power in her. 

If a girl child is born often the in-laws show utter discontentment and blame the mother for giving birth to a girl. This is because these rural mother-in-laws themselves have no knowledge of the science behind reproduction; still believing the woman is to blame when a girl is born. At times she will be the one who will go to the extent of committing the crime of female infanticide.

Male-dominated mentality very much prevalent till date

In other words the male-dominated mentality of the people living in the Indian society is still very much prevalent. This is because it’s not possible to deconstruct the age-old male-dominated social construct of the society in a single day. 

Be it dowry-related bride burning or the sexual violence or rapes that are so rampant now, be it domestic violence or marital rapes, be it early domestication of women or the growing problem of eve teasing India reflects its societal mentality; you find a glimpse of ‘anti-woman’ male-dominated mentality each and every time a new crime is reported.

A lot more change is needed

Though modern Indian woman claims to be educated and independent and she feels that she has every right to pursue whatever career she wants, society however very tactfully rather in a very scheming manner fences her out of some of the domains which are still very much called to date as the ‘man’s domain’. 

For example you’ll hardly come across women drivers, labourers, industrial workers and bartenders. In the sports field, mechanical field, Army, Navy, Mining fields too, the entry of women is very limited which indicates that the society even in this 21^st century is not ready to open doors in these fields for women whole heartedly. 

Be it rural or urban India, the challenges of being a woman is evident everywhere. These challenges might have a different face in different places, but we are still far from having overcome them to offer true ‘upliftment’ to the Indian woman.

Obsolete Traditions in a New World

                                                            

Obsolete Traditions in a New World

In this 21^st century, Indian women claim to be modern, educated, aware of their rights and think of themselves to be at par with men in every respect. But when the independent women of India openly try to decry the orthodoxies still prevalent in the society, they are faced with conflict and condemnation at every step. Does this indicate that the Indian society, at its very core, still retains the anti-woman outlook it has since centuries no matter how advanced the women of today are both educationally and economically?

 It can be safely said that in many ways, even today whatever gender equality or independence of women we get to perceive in India is just on the surface level; while at the deeper levels of our society nothing has radically changed for women. This probably is the only reason that can explain why even today, some of the most abominable and heartless ‘Anti-woman traditions’ that should have been long obsolete are still observed in many parts of India, predominantly rural India.

Here is a look at the 5 most shocking Anti-woman traditions prevalent till date in our so-called modern society that neither the worldwide feminist revolution could brush aside, nor the light of woman literacy could bring an end to.

1. Balika Vadhu: 

It is common knowledge that long back; it was a custom in India for young girls to be married off prior to reaching puberty. What is shocking is that this atrocious practice is still prevalent in many parts of Northern India, especially in regions like - Uttar Pradesh, Rajasthan, Gujrat and Haryana. Though ‘Child Marriage’ is now illegal, when villages in rural areas still practice such traditions, who is to report it? The structure of the society allows parents and family members to marry girls off at a very young age, killing her innocence and all chances of a normal, happy childhood. She is often expected to start having babies right after she matures, generally before her body is physically ready for the purpose of child bearing, and sadly this often leads to fatal consequences putting at risk the lives of both the mother and child.

2. Widow Maltreatment: 

Widows in the past were awfully mistreated in our country. If when a husband passed away, the wife was often expected to stay away from other family members in isolation and it was believed that she is was the one who brought ‘bad luck’ to the family and was somehow to be blamed for her miserable fate for life. The society made her life utterly difficult by putting countless restrictions on her as if she too had ceased to live. 

Many young widows were forcibly made to shave their head or cut their hair short. They were restricted from eating any delicacy food items, dressing up in bright colours or wearing jewellery and their only attire was a plain white sari. Surprisingly, the same practice still prevails in many parts of modern India. If a widow chooses to live her life on her own set rules, she becomes an object of society’s derision.

However certain positive steps are being taken to battle the present situation. We saw the example of the same when this year on Raksha Bandhan, the widows of Varanasi were brought to the limelight because they got the opportunity of tying ‘rakhi’ on social reformer, Bindeshwari Pathak’s wrist. One of the widows who made news in this event is Namuna Gautam, because in her long life of 80 years she tied rakhi to someone for the first time. This indicates how much widows were maltreated and kept out of all auspicious and holy occasions, even in this day and age!

3. Female foeticide: 

This abdominal tradition has become a matter of national crisis in our country and due to this shameful social evil; the male-female ratio in India has dropped alarmingly. In many Indian homes when it is known that the woman who has conceived has a girl child in her womb, she is often forced to get an abortion. This matter came to limelight many a times, and many radiologists in small towns and villages who advertised it as their business to tell the gender of the baby as soon as possible so that families could decide if they wanted to keep a girl child or not were shut down; their medical licenses cancelled. Yet, in many parts of India, this practice continues and countless girl foetuses are killed inhumanely every year. 

4. Dowry system: 

In spite of so many anti-dowry laws, the evils of dowry system still prevail in our country. It appears, as if a father is not marrying off his daughter; he is rather fixing a deal in the marriage market where the in-laws have the upper hand to demands whatever they want. And in many caste systems of India and also in many states, this practice of ‘buying a husband’ continues.

5. Dev Dasi: 

In many of the temples of Southern India, Dev Dasis often dedicated their lives to the almighty and were supposed to lead a pious life in service of the Lord. But the lecherous priests often fulfilled their physical desires by exploiting the Dev Dasis sexually. The same thing is happening till today, and even more rampantly due to increasing corruptions.

Don’t you think it is time these obsolete traditions came to an end? Do they really have a meaning in this New World we are trying to create? We invite all members of our blog to contribute any other ridiculous traditions they know are rampant in India even today, so that together we can make a difference. 

The List

The List 

We Indians have had a regressive mentality when it comes to women since time immemorial. For many years, women never even thought of raising an eyebrow to these rules - these were rules their mothers followed, and their grandmothers before them, and became so deeply intertwined with our society’s culture that they became a way of life. However, today the modern woman is educated; she is knowledgeable and has an opinion of her own, and for her some of these regressive thoughts about women that have existed as a part of Indian tradition and culture no longer make sense. 

NARI stands for New Age Radical Icon; it’s stands to change these regressive thoughts of our society so that women in our country can truly move forward. We have put together a LIST of some of these regressive thoughts that are have been a part of our culture; we will discuss them at length, find out why they originated and why some of them are not needed anymore, and hope that in the process we will gain a better understanding of the fact that the only way to move forward as a nation is to let some of the past live in the PAST.

1. Women should look towards the men in the family for guidance and direction

There was a time when women had to depend on the men in their lives – fathers brothers, husbands and sons in order to decide what to do, how to do it and when to do it. Back then it made sense; women were not encouraged to study and didn’t have any formal education and that is why all the major decisions in the family were automatically taken by the men because they were more worldly, wiser and practical. However today, the scenario is very different. Many women are equally qualified as the men in their life, if not more. So we think that this regressive thought, which would mean a woman, should ask her father or husband if she can take up a new job or should seek permission to buy a new car, or guidance on how to handle her yearly savings is redundant.

2. Women are never good with handling financial matters

Once again, this thought came in to existence because the women of the past were uneducated. Math and numbers were not their forte, which is why handling financial matters was not a job entrusted to them. However today women earn as much as the men in their life, if not more! So why cannot they handle their own financial matters? Even today, it isn’t uncommon to find husbands who expect their working wives to handle their salaries over to them or to the head of the family – which could be the mother-in-law or father-in-law. They decide on all savings, investments and allowances, leaving the woman feel more like a child than an independent individual who should have the right to do with her money as she pleases. This regressive thought process too should be done away with, until and unless the family structure is open and modern, where all members’ pool finances and take a call together to handle finances in a way that works best for them as a team. But if the woman wants to handle her own finances, by all means she must have the right to do so because she has worked hard to earn that money.

3. Women should dress and act a certain way

This regressive thought can be interpreted as a boon and a bane. It’s a bane because many women feel suffocated, not being able to have a personality of their own because their families expect them to dress and act a certain way. This practice came in to being because in the past, the way a woman behaved and dressed was a directly reflection on her family. It works like a boon too; women who dress appropriately and act in a certain manner are less likely to get caught in the middle of controversies in our country. However, we think it is time to give a little freedom to our women when it comes to the way they act and dress, as long as they are within bounds. It is time that a mother-in-law stops expecting her daughter-in-law to come saree clad with sindoor and heavy jewellery every time she visit them, even when she is completely aware that the daughter-in law is otherwise comfortable donning jeans and kurtis everyday, which are also very practical and safe dressing styles for the Indian woman. Why? It creates a rift, and it will make the daughter-in-law want to visit her mother in law less often, which truly isn’t worth it just for the sake of attire, is it?

4. If a woman wants to work, a safe 9 to 5 job should be her only option

In the past, when women started to pick up jobs, they preferred a 9 to 5 job. The reasons were many – there weren’t as many opportunities for women in high profile careers and taking care of the home front was also only the woman’s job back then. However, today a woman has many career opportunities and forcing her to choose a 9 to 5 job only because it is not safe for her to come late at night, after a hard day at work, is not being fair. So does it make more sense to expect our women to give up their dreams and hopes of a high flying career they have deserved and worked hard for, or does it make more sense to change as a society and make our cities and offices safe havens for women to rise to their potential and walk hand in hand with their male colleagues? 

5. Women should give up their careers when they have children in order to be called good mothers

This practice is not only followed in India but also everywhere in the world. Working women settled to become homemakers because they wanted to take care of their children. And even today, many women do this by choice, because for them their career isn’t as important as raising a responsible, well rounded child. And that is where the catch really lies...in India, most families will automatically assume that a pregnant woman should give up her job. Whether a woman wants to put her career on the back foot once she becomes a mother or not should be solely her choice, and to some extent the opinions of her husband can factor in. But she should have the choice....right? She shouldn’t be automatically expected to put up her resignation because she is expecting a baby, neither should it be assumed that all responsibility for caring for the child lies solely on her shoulders. A better approach is to take a collective decision as a family – to share the responsibility of caring for the child so that both parents can pursue their dreams without having to compromise on child care. After all, it is a job that is best done by parents and grandparents as opposed to house help and nannies, so there should be a way to care for the little one without expecting that only the mother will give up her career while the father is free to dream and rise.

6. Once a woman gets married, it’s her duty to always put her in-laws before her own birth family

This is a regressive thought that must be done away with. Yes, we do take up the surnames of our husbands after we get married. But rather than seeing it as ‘Leaving your mother’s house and now being a member of a new family’, the right approach is to see a marriage as ‘Also becoming a member of the new family, while you will always have your own family to count back on’. How many times have we heard of horror stories where daughters are forced to be a part of celebrations at their marital home when their fathers and mothers were lying sick, only because ‘She must keep her in-laws happy’ and cannot be spared to care for her sick parent? These regressive thoughts need to be done away with. Today more and more Indians are also choosing to live in nuclear families and most couples have about 2 kids. Thus, it is very important that for families to stay together and grow together, the sense of balance between ‘Her Parents’ and ‘His Parents’ must be achieved.